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How do you get rid of the Call Center calls?

October 20, 2009

How do you get rid of the Call Center calls?

Without fail it is near 6pm and I about to sit down for dinner when the phone rings. A complete stranger speaks in urgent tones as if he had just called for an ambulance and was put through to your number. Suddenly I am being greeted by my name and asked how are we today? (Am I some kind of mental patient waiting to dribble out my life story?) Without a second to answer I am bombarded with talk of a great offer and a free phone as no cost and no obligation, ‘An offer to good to refuse.’ The conversation carries on and all I want to know is how long before this person gets off the line.

More often than not a call comes up as overseas on my number display. If ask where the person with a heavy Indian accent is calling from I am told that they have an office in Melbourne. And pixies fly at the end of my garden? There is a delay and a slight echo that give this away as an overseas call, so I know I am being lied to. Whatever this person has to offer is now tainted by that lie. Every attempt I make to be rid of this nuisance is fruitless and they waist more of my time and my precious life.

Another call come just as I am about to watch television. (Grrrr) No point for guessing what country they say that they are calling from. “How are we today?” a ridiculously over familiar stranger asks. “Busy,” I reply in a cold manner.

“This will only take you a moment of your time and ….”

“Listen,” I interject, “Futurama is about to start and you are wrecking my personal time with the wisdom of Bender.”

“Could I call you back in one hour as this a very great opportunity for you to have a free holi…”

“Kiss my shiny metal ass.”

The next day at six I see ‘overseas’ displayed on my phone line identifier. Upon being answered a heavily accented man start rambling about a great investment opportunity. I wonder how long he can keep going before either stopped to take a breath or faint due to oxygen starvation. Damn he stops to take a breath then begins his next automated tirade. This time he asks questions that I don’t answer but that does stop him from continuing to preach about a free seminar. Finally he asks a real question of me. “And what do you thing of that?”

“No.”

“No what?”

“No I don’t but anything from a call from another country.”

“But we are here in…” He hesitates to read. “…Melbourne.”

“What’s the weather like today?” I love being a smart ass sometimes.

The weather is…” Papers rattle for a few seconds, “…fine today with a sight North Easterly breeze.”

My phone goes down.

Two days later a get a callas 5:50pm, they are getting smarter and so catch me off guard. Yet like a battle hardened soldier I am up for the fight. The person starts with the greatest of orgasmic enthusiasm about a great new phone offer. Do people actually get that excited over saving money off their long distance calls? I don’t. “Would you like me to explain how you can save money and get this great new phone for free?”

“Sure as long as we can talk about Jesus first.”

This time they hang up.

So what are people tactics for getting rid of that nuisance phone call trying to sell you stuff? I have to admit that these days I get a bit of pleasure out mentally tormenting the person on the other end of the line. Asking for a supervisor is one of my favorites, telling them that they have called another call center is another. “I’m sorry didn’t hear that the person you called died?” For surveys my first question is “Am I going to be paid for this survey?” If they are unwilling to fork up $30 per hour then it is good-bye.

What are people doing to be rid of the random phone pests?

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