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How to Write a Hate Post

November 12, 2009

How to Write a Hate Post:

Hate posts are the staple diet of the Blogging world and can be your ticket to instant stardom. Not everyone is called to write Hate Posts as it requires the highest dedication to hate with an unending passion. Yet the rewards can often be in the form of fawning adoration from those that agree with you and attention from those that disagree with you. Either way you will find that the attention will boost your readership and you will rise in popularity (which you must scorn). So after carefully studying hate posts I have devised the rules to a successful Hate Post.

Rule 1 – Find an enemy.

This is a crucial step that cannot be avoided. You cannot write a Hate Post unless have something to hate. The tabloids and cable news are filled with potential enemies for you to choose from and you should choose wisely. Make sure your enemy already has enemies, is not well understood and is an easy target. Religion is a favorite but so too are social misfits and poor people. If you cannot work out which one to hate the most then hate them all with equally. That has the advantage of you being able to claim that you are not a bigot.

Rule 2 – Ignorance is Bliss.

Bliss as I define it is a mind that is totally free of knowledge that may cause hesitation in your writing. You can’t write a scathing attack upon refugees if you have a human rights report on refugees sitting on your desk. So lose everything that contradicts your claims and do not even refer to it at all. If anyone tries to bring it up, change the subject or call your opponent a fool. Remember that triggering base emotions is the key to avoid answer tough questions.

Rule 3 – Generalize Like no Tomorrow

Remember that before you start writing you have already decided that you were right about everything. You must say things like Muslims say this; Catholics do that; Somalis just can’t… See how easy it is. By generalizations you can avoid having to explain greater details like which ‘Muslim say this’ and Which ‘Catholic does that’. By associating the repulsive with the group rather than the individual you have a broader target to shoot at.

Rule 4 – Claim your Victimhood as a Justification for your Hate

This may sound complicated but it is not, many people do this so often that they are unaware that they are doing it. Don’t worry if you do not know what it means as Hate posters have to avoid self knowledge and knowing this requires that skill. For example if some person who happens to be black steal your car you would say, ‘My car was stolen by a black.’ Note the subtle difference? If you did not, then neither will half your readers. Also use examples like every since 9-11 my Iraqi neighbor looks at me funny with long hard stares. This not only sounds chilling but makes people feel as if you need defending. Feelings of helplessness and danger should be exaggerated at every point. You must use the cloak of the martyr to deflect any criticism. ‘How could say that to a helpless victim like me?’ must be your attitude. Then attack with out mercy.

Rule 5 – They hate us

Very much related to the generalizations but with one subtle difference. ‘They hate us’ implies that we must meet fire with fire. So to be on equal tactical and moral terms we must also hate them. Anecdotal evidence is as good as anything to emphasize this point. For example: ‘They hate us because we are good.’ The idea is to make the reader feel that if they hate us because we are good but if we will hate them because are evil we are better than they are.

Rule 6 – Select your Facts carefully.

Remember how I said anecdotal evidence is as good as anything to emphasize your point. Credible evidence is hard and takes effort to understand but Google, Wiki and Foxtel has made life so easy. They provide the anecdotes that you can call facts to put into you Hate post. If you are attacking an ethnic group there is plenty of hate sites that will provide you with information. Also be creative, hearsay is just as good if not better than an Internet link. ‘I heard some where that Aboriginals are planning a riot’ is great example because few people will ever ask where you heard this. If they do you just say, ‘I have my sources.’ It is also important that if someone provides credible contradictory evidence you must attack the author as being biased.

Rule 7 – Hate begets Hate

Having put your post out there you may get the odd person who in all sincerity questions you motivations. These people are pests and must be dealt with swiftly and sent packing. The best way to send people packing is to drag them down to your level. So do a bit of research and attack the person rather than what they say. Contempt and arrogance are your tools to triggering an emotional response to your emotional tirade. Attack everything about the person and his or her background; Call them an idiot, immature or uneducated; better still question their courage and patriotism. Remember you want this person to respond to your emotional attack with an equally emotional attack on you. This is so that you can achieve two objectives: One is to claim victim hood and the other is drag the person down to your level. You want this person to hate you so that there is more hate in the world.

Rule 8 – Your Persona must Feign Sincerity

Hollywood can supply you with a persona if you a lacking anything that resembles a personality. Once you have a persona you must nurture its image and the image must be in the form of justice. Here are some personas that do work: The innocent damsel in distress (i.e.: Poison Pen Ivy); the hardboiled world wise tough guy (i.e.: the cynical old cow); the sword of the righteous (i.e.: I’ll tell you what to think); One of us (i.e.: It is us against them); the true patriot (i.e.: only traitors disagree with me); Condescending ( i.e.: Just be yourself).

Rule 9 – If all else Fails…

If all else fails pack up and leave for another Blog site. Hate can blossom but it needs the correct environment. Your message of hate will find an audience out there and you will be held in respect for a period of time. When you leave you must leave a post explaining why you left, claiming victimhood and blaming unnamed jackals for your decision. Emphasize that you are going to a better place and this site was given a chance but just never made it. Say nothing except kind words to your fellow haters and leave. In your new site you can claim victimhood and start all over again. Perhaps one day you will find a crowd that truly appreciates hate.

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