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I have finally worked out that I must be God.

November 15, 2009

I have finally worked out that I must be God.


Sitting back with my head resting against a wall I decided to ponder the great mysteries of the universe. Namely from wench it came. Not having a convincing answer I need to know why I did not know and even in that I did not know. Yet knowing something is better than knowing nothing. Or is it.

Great minds have often told me that the more I know the less I know because knowledge is a trap. Knowledge is infinite to learn anything is finite. If you divide infinity by a finite number the answer is always zero. So therefore by knowing something I automatically don’t know anything. By being in the position of knowing nothing I suddenly know everything. Infinity divided by infinity and all that stuff.


Yet knowledge about the great mysteries is nothing if no mysteries exist. Do I exist?

Of course I do or I would not be having this conversation with myself.

Are you sure about that? You could be talking to another entity that you think is you but is not you. Oh, now my head hurts now.

I could pretend that I don’t exist and see if I disappear. Nope still here, so something that I call me must exist for me to doubt that it ever did.

Now what else can I prove exists by doubting it does?

Pixies exist. Because I can doubt their existence they must exist for me to doubt them. QED.

Not so easy. Where are those pixies BTW?

Oh, Bugger, I never thought of that.

And what about the rest of the universe?


You know, the universe, the stuff around you. How do you know that exists?

That’s easy I can, see it. I have five senses in all.

You see it through eyes that are connected by circuits to tell you mind what those signal say they are. Is that right?

Um yes.

So what happens if they are telling lies? You are being told that there is a universe when in fact it is just a trick of wiring. What if there is no circuits and all this is just some kind of dream.


Oh Crap. I need to think about that one……

So I thought for a while not bothering to argue with myself in case I inflamed my own imagined temper and knocked my own imagined block off. Then I suddenly realised that it must be all true.


If I can only prove my own existence then I must be the only thing in existence.

The universe must be a figment of my imagination that unknowingly created.

The only one who can create the universe must be a supreme being so there for I am god.


Start worshiping everyone.







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