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Art of Sarcasm: For the Clueless.

November 17, 2009

Art of Sarcasm: For the Clueless.

Yes I am talking to you.

Hypocrisy Rights Now

The highest form of intelligence on the planet has educated itself to be the lowest form hypocrisy. Not that there is anything wrong with being a hypocrite. Some of my best friends are hypocrites. I think that we should have a good look at the whole hypocrisy issue in a new light. Are people born hypocrites or is it something that is planted in their childhood? Not enough mother’s milk or poor potty training could explain much. Yet if it is inherited then (nature as opposed to nurture) then we cannot blame those people for being that way. The gene pool spat them out and as we know from Evolution it must be correct. So hypocrites are in fact necessary for our survival and I for one would like to forward the motion of Hypocrite Rights. We should have hypocrites come into to the schools and teach children how to be how to be more accepting of hypocrisy.

Urine Artists

If ever there was an art form that has been under exposed it is Urine Art. I have no idea why it did not catch on. It makes a statement and shows off the beauty of anything that is soaked in it. When someone urinates on you then that should be seen as the highest compliment. We should extend Urine Art to funerals so that we can have the ceremonial pissing on the grave. Urinating on the memories of good people is already a staple in society so we should have no problem extending the practice.

Of course we should remember that you have to be a trained artist to appreciate the finer aspects of Urine Art. Not everyone has the training and mentality to find it worthy of appreciation. Not that it is elitist to consider such appreciation an elevated mental state. However the uneducated, who prove themselves as such but their lack of appreciation for Urine Based Art, will always mistake it for a cheap attempt to give insults legitimacy by calling it art. Such people are actually Philistines and will never be worthy as we are to understand what we are doing for them.

It is Not Stalking if You Do It

Two words on this subject: Self Evident. Remember when it gets down to a battle to save the entire future of the planet, one blog at a time you need to strong. Strong in the sense that sneaking around and looking for dirt on anyone who does not fully agree with your attempt to save the planet, is both strong and brave. You are not engaging in a cheap nasty smear campaign worth of pre-teen school girls but you are actually saving the planet. The Planet people. That is a heavy responsibility for you to carry. Are you up to it?

If the answer is yes then you must collect all those cheap jibes and badly composed insults then use them at the most inane times. The fact that they have no reference to what on earth you are trying to prove is beside the point. Just keep doing it and the masses will one day see how incredibly brilliant you are. They will be sorry that they mistook you for a spiteful immature little stalker who follows people around to make random meaningless jibes. They will then let you out of the padded cell to take your place as ruler of the Utopia that you created for everyone (those ingrates).

True Sarcasm comes Naturally from You

If you have heard the term ‘that you must think before you speak’, then forget it, because now you are a great writer. You are a ‘great writer’ waiting to be recognized for your contribution to sarcastic and cynical literature. It is a fine line of writing that you have obviously mastered with utterances that make most people stop and stumble over with disbelief as what you wrote. You can actually hear the enormous laughter as you illuminate your contempt with such things as: ‘Oh Yer?’, ‘Your Mumma is so fat that…’, ‘Well, well, well’, ‘Oh, now I have heard it all!‘ and ‘That is what I would expect from someone like you.’ Remember to get that curl in your lip as you write because it helps convey the sneering superiority that really impresses people (those ingrates). The fact that much of what you write is only considered funny by a select group of elites that you have selected does not mean that in a thousand years or so it won’t be considered funny by at least one other person. You will show them all when you deliver that Utopia and kick them out of it.

Sarcastic Conclusion:

Just because people do not understand you, it does not make you an artist.

Your work will one day be read in Hell, as form of punishment.

It will be ignored in this world out of respect for finely crafted literature.

Having so vigorously used so many adjectives wouldn’t it be easier to say, ‘I hate your guts?

Unfunny sarcasm is the ultimate irony. Have you done your irony yet or am I a misogynist for asking?


Having listened to you constant opinions of my inferiority, errors, diagnosis of my psychological problems, my upbringing, supposed allegiances, hidden agendas, I cannot help but feel that there is a ‘certain’ chemistry between us. Acid production is Chemistry. I am certain that is what it is.


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