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A Special Message to Everyone who has not been offended yet: I am doing my best to offend you too.

January 6, 2010

A Special Message to Everyone who has not been offended yet: I am doing my best to offend you too.

 

I just wanted to cover everyone.

I know that the rest of you are feeling as if you are missing out. So I think I should go out of my way to offend all of you at once.

Yet I am not sure what would offend you all.

However I’ll give it a shot:

 

Carl Sagan sux. He tried to sue Apple Computers for calling a computer ‘Millions and Millions’.

 

‘The Age’ newspaper is not exactly impartial and ‘The Australian’ newspaper gives you gas.

 

No one gives a frig what Nietzsche has to say. He ate his own moustache and went mad.

 

Wikipedia is not as good as Liberalwiki or Conservapedia but it is much better than the Pediaphiles. I wonder what happened to all the books in the world.

 

F7 is what you do in place of sex. Do it twice for the extra level of blandness.

 

If you pick your nose with a coat hanger you are suicidal.

 

Just because your cronies love you, it does not mean that you are lovable.

 

Bigotrees are planted in bigger-forests by insignificant trolls with small minds.

 

Woman’s rights are powerful, so learn to duck fast.

 

Miss Sodginy is here to see you and boy is she pissed.

I found a spelling mistake in you post and that destroys your whole argument.

 

I am slowly undermining you whole way of life. Yes, I am that powerful.

 

High school does not make you street wise.

 

Wow, another Arts Graduate with a major in Humanities has hit the blog-sphere. (ZZZZZZZ)

 

Street wise is anti-clockwise wisdom. (I love mantras)

 

No one cares about your sex-life because they think you made it all up. (I will concede this point if you provide photographic evidence. Nothing with animals please.) However please continue to enthral us with your sex-capades.

 

I like it when you hate me. You are beautiful when you are angry. I also think Aardvarks are beautiful when they are angry.

 

Brush your teeth after felching. It is beginning to affect your writing.

 

I do not care what amazing political gain you made on a blog site. It is a blog site. Get over it.

 

Ad Hominem means to attack the person rather than the argument. It does not have handles so you can beat people with it. So try to avoid making an ad hominem attack whilst using the complaining about ad hominem attacks.

 

It may be news to you but, semantics shits everyone and proves nothing.

 

Yes, there is a conspiracy to take you down. Every Friday night we all get together to plan our next move.

 

I am amazed at how easy it was to infiltrate your group, mob, coven, and branch to bring you down from the inside. Are you really that stupid? Hehehehe. Yes.

 

And

Your bum looks big in everything.

 

Editorial Comment:

How dare you even try to be satirical when you know that we, who take ourselves so seriously, are the true clowns?

The glorious future will live on in our utopian dreams and that is something that you cannot kill.

One day you will see. We will get you and then we will write the most witty and funny satirical piece ever. Then you will be quite the fool. Do you hear me? Quite the fool.

 

Response:

Have you chosen a date yet? I want to pencil it in. I would not want to miss your first serious attempt at humour.

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