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Richard Dawkins is Dead

January 14, 2010

Richard Dawkins is Dead

After years of research by people who call themselves science lovers it was finally discovered that Richard Dawkins is dead. Richard (Latin for Dick) Dawkins (Latin for Dork King ie: king of the dorks) was found to have died at his irony board having exploded his mind trying to convince the himself that his genes still fit. Actually they stopped fitting long ago and ran off with some floozy because they were so selfish.

 

Later it was revealed that Richard Dorkings had never been alive. This revelation came after his own logic was applied to his own existence. Had anyone actually seen Richard in real life? Was anyone able to touch Richard? Just because there is a swagger of literature attributed to Richard do we know for sure that he wrote it himself? Even if someone claimed to have a direct Richard experience could it not be attributed to mental illness, delusion or fiction? Outside the existential conclusion of self existence how could anyone be certain that Richard Dorkings is not just a figment of their imagination, just like reality and solid objects?

 

No absolute conclusion can be made about the existence of RD (Richard Dorkings) and so we should conclude that he does exist. In fact the onus of proof that RD (King Dork) does exist is on those that claim that he is real. We are bound by science to assume that he does not exist and then have irrefutable scientific proof spoon fed to us.

 

So in conclusion this not a sad post or a happy post because this post may not exist at all. People are captivated by the delusion of their own existence and so this must be pure evil. Richard who is a hypothetical deity for those that reject all deities must not exist and is therefore dead. The only way to make Richard Dawkins exist is to have faith that he does exist. Then again, why bother?

 

Editorial Comments:

Warning this is satire.

And you say. “Like, um duh..” However there are some people who cannot tell the difference. We call such people ‘humorless morons’.

Also warning: Those that worship at the church of RD may be offended by my liberal use of ‘delusion’ and the word ‘evil’.

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