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The Definition of idiocy: Trying to make Converts on a Blog

April 3, 2014

The Definition of idiocy: Trying to make Converts on a Blog.


Here is a cool idea.

“I blog therefore I am God”


Join a call centre and make calls to sell long distance saving on your mobile phone. We have not heard of that before, have we? Better still, adapt that same model to sell a new religion. You can’t fail.


Now whilst everyone is practising their phone slamming technique let’s take a second to think this through. Why would it fail? Call centres have to turn profit and if they did not catch a few customers then they would cease to exist.


Then again why should religions and timeshare have all the fun? Why not use the same model to sell a bunch of wacky political ideologies mixed with wonky logic and philosophical ambiguities. You are sure to start a whole new movement in one day.


Still not convinced? I’ll even throw in steak knives.


Of course, if no one likes what you are peddling then it is all ‘their’ fault. No way could it be the product or the call centre operator. No way.


So you lack the budget for a call centre campaign. What can you do?

I know. Blogs cost nothing and have a captive audience. You can peddle your vapourware to those sheep and wait for the followers to flock in. The plan is perfect, the plan cannot fail, the plan relies upon, your intelligence and therefore anyone who does not agree is obviously stupid.



Reality check


How many converts do you have so far? Did they convert or were they already in agreement and you discovered them on line. Birds of a feather do flock together. Chances are the people who agree with you do so because they have read similar books, attended similar meetings, watched the same film, enjoy the same music or subscribe to the same conspiracy sites. Your loyal converts may not actually be converts but people with similar interests.


Here is another problem:

Why would you expect everyone to agree with this little self-congratulating microcosm?


That is just plain silly. Can you imagine a conversation going this way on Stormfront (KKK’s chat site).

KKK Dude: So what you are really saying it that I have been misjudging my fellow human beings.

Enlightened One: It is not your fault that you were so misguided. You haven’t had the benefit of my teachings.

KKK Dude: Thank you Enlightened One. I will dedicate my life to your teachings.


Hands up those that just cannot see this happening.


Yet in a blog environment, this is precisely what convert driven blogs expect. They start with an agenda and assume that people need conversion to their way of thinking. They assume that their list of enemies is everyone’s list of enemies. They assume that their school of thought is the one that everyone will automatically adopt in just a few lessons. They assume that anyone who does not agree does so because a: they are stupid or b: they are an agent for the enemy sent to destroy them.


There is much to be said for self-delusion and grandstanding. It can act as a good buffer against cold hard reality. It also helps people sleep with clear conscience at their lack of actions to back up their empty words. It also means that inconsistencies and poor reasoning can be ignored with a single word or slogan.


I have no problem with people deluding themselves that one day everyone will convert to their way of thinking. Half the world already thinks that. Just go to Pub or a Bohemian Coffee Shop and mention any controversial subject. If you are lucky you may get a word in after two hours of preaching, hen pecking and nagging. Yet after all that time few people ask where they can sign up. Rather they look for a great excuse to leave or they hit back with their preaching, hen pecking and nagging. Funny how neither side will be convinced by such diatribes.


On a blog people blog (which is code for: ‘crap on endlessly‘). They commit to the disposable environment their disposable thoughts. Then they try to defend those disposable thoughts to the death. Eventually, the disposable thoughts are no longer disposable and become the key element of some convoluted ideology that they have invented over a weekend of Facebook and emails. The manifesto works because it was checked in their own heads and they are never wrong.


So as I watch all these sites come and go I do so with a small grin. I count my converts, which number exactly zero, and scratch my head wondering why people bother. As if controlling all of this a reflection of the real world. It is at best a bunch of self-promoting tossers trying to tell everyone else how to run the planet. The irony is that the rest of the planet could not care less. The half drunk nut in their local Pub often makes more sense.

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