Face Saving for Beginners

Face Saving for Beginners

Saving face is a time honoured tradition that has its roots in biblical times( Perhaps further back). However the first recorded story about saving face was with Adam and Eve. When God asked who ate the apple the answer was, ‘It was this ‘crazy’ woman’s fault’. She gave me the apple and I ate it.’ The moral of that story was all about losing face (So much for the nude utopian Garden of Eden future.) ‘Face saving’ progressed further when Cleopatra decided that it was better to take poison than say she was sorry for bonking two Romans. Remember ‘Et tu Brute?’ Remember the falling on the sword exit for all those that do not want to be humiliated before they are tortured and killed. How many children when facing up to a horror parent teacher meeting would rather fall on their swords than have it known to mum or dad how much of a little rotter they really are? That explains why swords are no longer part of the school uniform. Note the pattern. Saving face comes in two main thrusts: One is the blaming of others and the other is avoiding responsibility.

 

Yet let’s not dwell upon the negatives of the Face Saving Exercise. Instead we should be acting like those petty little self appoint politicians who have nothing better to do and celebrate it. We should all learn how to save face like a professional and put aside any doubts that everyone can see it as stupid. Those people do not exist. They never do and you will never be making yourself look more foolish in the process of face saving because….. your cause (which includes saving your butt) is a noble cause. You have to build the new world utopia and no one must stand in your way.

So we will begin with types of face saving.

 

The Verbose Face Saver (Biggus Nuff Nuffus)

If there is one thing that should be done when facing down the defeat of faulty logic, poor research or manic ideas, one must be confident enough to stay with the same line. Always make the same statement over and over again with more adjectives and in BOLD PRINT when you feel you need emphasize a point. Subtly is not for this writer as that would require less bold lettering and having to actually engage ideas rather than trigger emotions. Repetition will eventually wear down the opponent and as soon as they give up on arguing then you can claim victory (even if it takes 3 days).

 

Attack on the Retreat (Partus Shotus)

Had enough of being asked sensible questions this beast of the blunder will always retreat with no explanation of why they disagree other than those who are not in total agreement are obviously wrong. Leaving the battle field after the truce is handled with a parting hand grenade insult. Where an apology is offered no reciprocal apology should ever be given. Instead just complain about being tired of this and blame the other party before galloping away. That way you can claim some kind of victory in your own head.

 

Blubber Guts (Blubber Guttus)

Ever had that sinking feeling that everything you say is falling on deaf ears. Have you just wasted 2 hours belching out a tirade of insults supported with evidence from various conspiracy sites only to find out someone has gone to effort to look up all those sources? Are your insults getting weaker and people pointing out that you are just flinging insults? Then it is about time to cry victim. If you fling out an insult then the best way to stop them flinging back is to cry victim. Wah Wah Wah…! Get the idea? ‘Don’t pick on me I am the victim here despite spending the last 3 days doing nothing but insult you.’ Being ‘politically correct‘ and a ‘minority’ makes you an ‘underdog’ and as everyone knows it is wrong to pick on the ‘underdog’. Now everyone belongs to some minority group, so if you think you are not a minority then think harder. Find a minority that you can belong to. Victimhood makes a great base to strike from because it justifies every cowardly attack. You fling your vitriol then if any comes back: ‘Wah, wah, wah, I am the victim and that makes me right.’ It may seem pathetically like self pity but it is a key tool for saving face.

 

Stalking (Dipus Shitus)

Just because there is a ‘real world’ it does not mean that you have to live in it. In fact the ‘real world‘ is a very scary place where stalkers go to prisons where they may share a cell with an insane axe murderer turned cross dresser. You may even find romance in the cell, in between being sodomized with a broken light bulb. So by all means the ‘real world’ will never catch up with you because you are free. Ignore it and it does go away. That girl on line who rejects your charms and lewd jokes she is really deserving of your constant badgering. Digging up personal details on people to fling about like a weapon? No that is not crazy, creepy or vomits with repulsiveness. Why do you ask?

 

Conclusion

This is just an introduction to face saving and I am sure that there so many experts out there who have learned the art through shear desperation. After all saving face is considered in some circles as being far more important that making a valid point. Perhaps we should all join them in the lovely mud bath that they enjoy so much.